“Le regole del delitto perfetto”
Le tante ore passate davanti ad un computer con la tv a farmi compagnia, hanno fatto si che mi imbattessi in questa curiosa serie TV che spiega in modo, a volte cervellotico, le poche, semplici regole per uscire puliti e vincenti da un crimine.
E le tante ore notturne senza chiudere occhio, che l’insonnia mi regala mi hanno portato a pensare a questa curiosa analogia che, lo vogliate o no (prendetevela con la democrazia dei social), voglio proporvi un pò per gioco, un pò per rabbia un pò per fare il punto di una situazione che sembra un proiettile impazzito che sta per schiantarsi contro qualcosa o qualcuno, innocente e inconsapevole.
Lo so, preferireste augurarmi e magari propormi una cena a base di sonniferi e tranquillanti, ma quanto è bello fantasticare, elaborare tesi, analogie, prendere spunti ed elaborarli in maniera inusuale e pazzoide?
Parlavo di regole qualche riga sopra, sette nello specifico, che fanno si che chi commette un crimine o, come in questo caso, una malefatta pensata e fortemente voluta, esca da questa situazione quasi come vittima degli eventi, inconsapevoli naufraghi di una tempesta generata dal loro stesso soffiare.
Annalise Keating, la donna, la protagonista che ha ispirato tutto questo delirio è una donna di legge, profonda conoscitrice del diritto, da insegnante e da avvocato praticante ma il delitto perfetto non ha bisogno di cultura e di titoli universitari, infatti i protagonisti di questa storia conoscono solo una cosa, le persone che devono “gestire”.
Ma iniziamo.
Regola numero 1) Nascondere l’arma del delitto: In un omicidio, vero, esistono le problematiche di nascondere l’arma con la quale si è fatto del male, che sia una pistola, un coltello, un oggetto contundente e pensare poi ad impronte, macchie residue, compatibilità con le ferite inferte.
Quanto è più facile invece nascondere l’arma del delitto in un regolamento confusionario, dietro ad un logo su una camicia o meglio ancora, dietro a delle buone intenzioni propinate con una certa arroganza, fermezza e con un filino di atteggiamento da “padrino?
Regola numero 2) Far ricadere la colpa su un’altra persona, se è morta meglio: quante volte vi è capitato di sentirvi dire “hai sentito cosa è successo domenica scorsa?”.
Ecco, dietro questa spiegazione al limite tra il cinico e l’opportunista sta tutto una filosofia di pensiero in cui una tragedia viene usata in maniera becera, inappropriata e irrispettosa.
Il modo più largo e insensibile di togliersi da ogni impaccio e da ogni responsabilità.
Regola numero 3) Farsi aiutare da una cerchia di amici fidati. O altrettanto disperati: Per quale motivo si aiutano le persone? Amicizia, fedeltà, rispetto o magari all’italica maniera come tornaconto. Nascondere un arma, prove, un corpo. Buttare una pistola in un lago, smembrare un corpo e scioglierlo nell’acido, bruciare vestiti, un’auto.
Fortunatamente in questa storia non si arriva a tanto, basta circondarsi di persone che annuiscono ad ogni baggianata e perorano le cause più disparate facendole passare come la panacea di ogni male quando invece si rivela un placebo che lascia tutto com’è o a volte peggiora.
Regola numero 4) Farsi difendere da gente più o molto meno credibile: Qui prende vita il primo capolavoro. Orde di adepti accalappiati nei modi più disparati fanno muro contro i detrattori, contro chi prova minimamente a criticare o semplicemente a proporre nuove strade, alternative, modifiche, cambiamenti.
A mantenere lo status quo si riversa sui social principalmente un’orda di guardiani della galassia che però fanno un errore banale ma fondamentale. Non esaltano chi li “ispira” ma semplicemente mirano a distruggere tutto ciò che c’è intorno al loro piccolo mondo, facendo di fatto, pessima pubblicità e non puntando i riflettori su nessuno dei presunti punti di forza.
A dar man forte un’esercito compatto ma silente che brama solo quello che è l’oppio del nuovo millennio: la notorietà a basso costo. Una comparsata in tv di pochi secondi, un riconoscimento, la possibilità di essere animali da like e l’estrema barriera di difesa, silenziosa ed inconsapevole è eretta.
Regola numero 5) Non fuggire: E non fuggono mai! Anzi, petto avanti si fanno strada tra le critiche e le occhiatacce forti di quanti li difendono e forti di non essere nella posizione di essere contrastati, con la baldanza di chi ha in mano il potere, se di potere si può parlare.
Regola numero 6) Non fare danni maggiori nel tentativo di coprire danni minori: Loro non fanno danni, loro mirano al progresso. Ma dietro i loro occhiali da sole all’ultimo grido non vedono che il progresso va in tutt’altra direzione e buttano fumo negli occhi a chi gli occhiali da sole non li indossa. Meglio ciechi che guardare dalla parte opposta. E quel fumo prende vita sotto forma di regole, regolette e regolicchie, che non portano a nulla se non ad un immobilismo che conduce ovunque ma non al progresso. Che poi alla fine non fanno altro che fomentare l’ego, il loro e degli altri di cui sopra. La vista puoi accecarla, l’ego no, ha occhi ben più resistenti.
Regola numero 7) Non deve avere senso, deve sembrare un casino: Ed in questo sono degli autentici maestri. Sono gli dei del caos, i profeti della confusione e lo si vede in ogni ambito della loro gestione, dalle regole ad personam, alle disposizioni di sicurezza “ad garam” dai molteplici metri di giudizio che cambiano come cambia il vento. Lo si vede nelle modifiche in corsa del regolamento, del mondo in cui si approcciano al mondo che cercano di gestire con il pugno fermo del padre padrone, ma che in realtà lo guardano da lontano mentre si schianta al suolo con la coscienza pulita e i cuscini profumati dove dormono sonni beati.
La state notando la decadenza? La state notando la caduta libera? State notando come la ricerca dell’eccellenza, dell’elite, sta facendo trasformare tutto in qualcosa che ha a che fare solo con la forma e non più con la sostanza.
Vi prego, non venite a dirmi che i tempi sono questi e che bisogna seguire le tendenze, perché quello che succede in Italia, succede SOLO in Italia.
Altrove questa specialità cresce, attrae giovani che con pochi spiccioli possono realizzare un sogno, da noi sta diventando come una cena in un ristorante stellato. Per mangiare cosa poi? Pane e pomodoro.
Concedetemi questo tempo semiserio, tragicomico, che viaggia su un filo sottile tra la follia e la realtà.
E lasciatemi dire, vicini alla fine di un’altra stagione che siete carne da macello e i vostri assassini non saranno mai puniti perchè sono carnefici e giudici di loro stessi.
Come sempre, senza rancore.
(Nella foto la MIA Coppa Teodori, anno 1979, quando sono nato e me ne sono innamorato)
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